I kinda like what I’m experiencing these days. Everything seems to be going well and since a while I feel at ease. It’s not like I’m at ease 24/7, but it’s better now than it has been before. I’m just so happy that our paths crossed. I can’t imagine what I would have done without her. She’s there every day, always ready to talk about anything or even the most personal thoughts. Things that others don’t know about her or me. Dark secrets revealed while covering the failures with positive emotions. Making the other feel good with who he or she is. Doing almost everything for the other in order for him or her to be happy.
She brings out the best in me. Sweet words come from my mind which I would never expect to hear from my own lips. Nothing but love comes from this hart while there’s no room for anything bad to feel. As long as I’m hanging around her there’s nothing wrong. The first encounter in real life was something weird actually. To see her for the first time, even though I saw the pictures I was very surprised. She didn’t look anything like the pictures I saw. She was so beautiful, I was simply stunned. Not only that but I was sure that maybe for once I would have luck in this life. It turned out that she was way better than I could ever have imagined, not only physical but also mental.
How I miss her since that first and only encounter this far. I can’t wait until I’ll see her again. “Will that day ever come ?” I ask myself every morning when I get out of bed. Longing for that moment when I get to talk with her over the internet or when she leaves me a call so that I know that she’s thinking of me. It’s those little things that make my day bearable. How I wish I was with her every single second of every day.
Just got out of the shower and it’s already late. A minute past midnight as I feel that it’s still warm outside. I just go outside and sit on the bench in front of the small garden with herbs. The sky is almost dark but the horizon still is of a lighter shade of blue. The stars are present and the moon is shining over me. I sit there and dream of her while I stare at the dark sky. I start dreaming in the moonlight. Wishing that she could be with me right now, out here in this quiet place where the scents bring back memories of times long ago. Wishing she would be here, lying in my arms while watching the sky. Whispering because we don’t want to break the silence but most of the time we are silent and listen to the distant sounds of the night. The moon would brighten the sky as we sit there enjoying each others company. Silently I would turn my head and tell her that I love her. Hoping that the moment would never end and that the night would never die. But this still is but a mere fantasy for now.
As I watch the stars form the patterns which are there since the beginning of times I think of the infinity of this all. Endless space with numerous planets and stars. Endless like my love for her, nothing will ever end this unconditional love. I feel happy while I’m sitting outside where the temperature is better than inside. Thinking of the only person which has been on my mind for the past few weeks. Even though she does love me there’s that little detail which I seem to forget on purpose. The fact that she has a difficult choice to make. One which will represent the outcome of this all. The choice which could make me happy until infinity or the one that could bring me down.
I have faith in her and I only want what’s the best for her even though it would mean for me to return to my old state of mind.
I love her so much that I just want her to be happy.
It’s time to go inside and get some sleep. There’s a long day ahead of me and I can’t wait to speak with her again. Hope to see her soon in my dreams…
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